Every dad has experienced that moment when his daughter looks at him like, “Please stop existing in public.”
That’s why I am glad National Awkward Moments Day exists because it’s a great way to connect with your daughter.
Kids are so self-conscious about absolutely everything today. Girls, especially, are often embarrassed at the drop of a hat – and that’s without being seen in public with their father.
As a DODO Dad, you can help your daughter prepare for those cringe moments before they occur, and help her to recover quickly whenever they do.
If she is up to it, I encourage both of you to dress up in silly outfits and go out in public. The point would be to be embarrassing together. After all, you are creating an awkward moment.
Try something as simple as wearing mismatched socks or a short-sleeved Hawaiian shirt in the middle of winter. Doing so shows her that it really is no big deal when you do something silly or embarrassing in public.
But, even if you don’t want to draw unnecessary attention to yourselves, National Awkward Moments Day opens the door to some excellent conversations with your daughter.
Start by telling her stories about your own social crisis, especially at her age. Or, explain what situations you would have considered to be awkward at that time.
If you did something awkward and nobody noticed, that’s even better because it proves the point. People are far more concerned about themselves to actually pay attention to what is happening to other people.
As humans, we tend to think all eyes are on us all the time. Yet, that is rarely the case, unless someone is causing a commotion. That in itself is a good teaching lesson about having public meltdowns.
Some awkward moments are funny, while others feel like a crisis played out in real time. For example, almost every teen and tween girl is mortified about leakage associated with a monthly period.
So, encourage her to prepare for the unexpected accident by creating an “emergency kit” with an extra pair of pants and underwear that she can conceal in her locker or backpack.
The hidden benefit of doing so is that she can also discreetly come to the rescue of another girl caught in that moment.
If you are having a one-on-one conversation or even a private family moment, ask your daughter to describe something that happened in the past that was truly awkward for her. Then ask her about her reaction or the reaction of others.
It is wonderfully liberating for your daughter if she can learn to laugh at her own mistakes. Doing so also makes her more empathetic to the plight of others.
Try asking her what she imagines would be the ultimate embarrassing moment for her or “a friend.” Then plan strategies to help her avoid that from occurring or ways to recover with dignity if it ever did.
If you are up for it, ask your daughter if you ever did something that was embarrassing to her. Unresolved moments like that can break down trust. Just asking the question opens the door for you to apologize and ask for her forgiveness.
I remember slipping and calling my daughter her childhood nickname in front of her friends. Her embarrassed gaze directed my way while others laughed and questioned the meaning behind the name was enough to tell me I had crossed the line.
Finally, if she is not already keeping a diary, encourage her to do so. That way, when blushful moments occur, she can write them down in her private journal. Getting the embarrassment out of her head and onto paper helps to clear her mind rather than dwelling upon the situation over and over again.
At the end of the day, awkward moments don’t need to be avoided. They need to be survived, savored and eventually laughed about.
Preferably years later, like when she has kids of her own. Then you can sit back, smile and think to yourself, “This is payback.”
