When Greg Coote held his newborn daughter, Micaela, for the first time, something shifted instantly.
“I thought this overwhelming sense of wanting to do anything to protect this child no matter what it takes,” he recalled.
Like many new fathers, Greg felt a mix of joy, fear and responsibility. But, unlike most, his journey into fatherhood would soon take a path he never expected.
Before Micaela was born, Greg and his wife, Starese, had already been walking through a serious health challenge. Doctors had warned them that having children was unlikely. Then, against the odds, they conceived.
“We believed that we received a miracle,” Greg said.
That miracle would be followed by heartbreak. When Micaela was just 18 months old, Starese passed away unexpectedly after a minor operation.
“Nothing can prepare you for that,” he said. “It was my greatest fear that came true.”
A life reshaped overnight
In an instant, Greg became a solo father.
“It was very much survival mode for a good period of time,” he said.
Those early days were about getting through each moment, new responsibility and wave of grief. Yet, even in that fog, something deeper was taking root.
“I certainly believe God was equipping me with what I needed to give my child what she needed from me,” Greg explained.
As Micaela grew, so did the bond between father and daughter. It became a relationship shaped not just by circumstance, but by intention.
Greg realized that being a great dad was not about having all the answers. It was about being fully present.
“I always tell Micaela she is a free spirit,” he said. “I really try to give her the space she needs and the trust she wants to live that out in her life.”
Creating space for emotions
One of the most meaningful shifts in Greg’s parenting came through his own personal growth.
Raised in a traditional environment where emotions were often suppressed, he recognized early on that he wanted something different for his daughter.
“As men, we sometimes see strength as being control,” he said. “But, I’ve learned that being vulnerable and expressing what you actually feel is what true strength looks like.”
That insight shaped the way he created a safe space for Micaela.
“I’ve encouraged her that all emotions are welcome, not just the positive ones,” said Greg.
As a result, his daughter has grown comfortable expressing her thoughts, questions and feelings, even about difficult topics, like the loss of her mother.
“She loves to find out more about her mom,” he said. “We go through pictures, and she asks questions. Nothing is really out of bounds.”
Those conversations did not come easily at first. But over time, something opened up.
“Something cracked open in her when she was around 5 years old,” Greg said. “We started having the most amazing conversations.”
Listening instead of fixing
Like many fathers, Greg initially approached parenting with a problem-solving mindset.
“I think all of us men can relate. We are wired to be fixers,” he explained.
However, he soon discovered that his daughter often needed something very different.
“I realized a lot of the time she was saying, ‘Dad, just be with me and listen to me,’” he noted.
That realization changed everything for him. Now, when Micaela comes to him with a concern, Greg takes a different approach.
“I’ll ask her, would you like me to offer my perspective, or would you just like me to listen?” he said.
More often than not, she chooses to be heard. When Greg does that, it helps her to build trust and confidence in him and others.
Balancing protection and independence
As his daughter has grown, Greg has faced the universal challenge of balancing protection with independence.
“I think sometimes that desire to protect can border on fear,” he said. “If I can control everything, then nothing bad will happen.”
Recognizing that tendency has helped him take a more thoughtful approach.
“It’s very much a balancing act,” he said.
He sets boundaries around things like technology and sleepovers, but also gives Micaela space to grow.
“I trust my instinct,” he said. “But, I also trust God’s love and protection over her life.”
That balance shows up in everyday decisions. Micaela has a phone, but with clear limits. She is encouraged to explore her interests, but within healthy guardrails.
“I try to empower her rather than just telling her what she can and can’t do,” Greg explained.
Growing through faith and reflection
Greg’s parenting journey has been deeply influenced by his faith.
Raised by a father who was a pastor, he had a firm foundation. But, it was through hardship that his relationship with God became more personal.
“I realized my relationship with God was more head knowledge than a deeper connection,” he said.
Grief forced him to ask hard questions and seek deeper meaning.
“Through that pain, my relationship with God became very real and raw,” Greg added.
That authenticity now shapes how he talks about faith with his daughter. Their conversations often explore life, loss and purpose in a way that is open and curious.
“There’s nothing out of bounds,” Greg said. “I don’t tell her who God is. I let it become a lived experience for her.”
Supporting his daughter’s passions
Like many 10 year olds, Micaela is discovering her interests and talents.
“She loves singing, she’s learning keyboard and guitar, and she really enjoys soccer,” Greg noted.
Greg is fully engaged in supporting those passions.
“It’s a commitment,” he said. “But, it’s also such a privilege.”
Whether it is driving her to practice sessions or simply watching videos together, Greg knows that showing interest matters.
“When I show interest in her passions, I can see how much it means to her,” he said.
They also make time for simple moments together.
“We love going on hikes or just sitting on a blanket with music playing and being present with one another,” he explained.
Lessons learned along the way
Greg is quick to acknowledge that he is still learning. But, instead of regret, he chooses growth.
“I’ve definitely had moments where I’ve tried to fix everything,” he said. “Yet, I don’t believe in regrets because everything happens as it’s supposed to.”
That mindset has helped him approach parenting with compassion, himself and Micaela.
“Sometimes, as a parent, I can feel like I’m not doing enough,” he said. “But, I’ve learned to recognize that I’m doing the best I can.”
That self-compassion has had a ripple effect. Greg realized the more compassionate he is toward himself, the easier it is for him to show up for his daughter.
A message for other girl dads
For fathers navigating their own challenges, Greg encourages them to be kind to themselves.
“You’re doing the best you can with what you have,” he explained. “If there are areas in your life that need healing, then lean into that. It will have a massive impact on your child.”
At its core, his approach to fatherhood comes down to presence.
“All connection is found in the present moment,” he said.
It is a lesson he continues to practice every day. For Greg, being a great dad is about showing up, listening deeply, and loving his daughter in a way that allows her to become fully herself.
People can connect with Greg on Facebook either through his personal account or his business account called Authentic Coaching.
I am the father of three now-grown young women with families of their own. A native of Wisconsin, I now live in Arizona, but enjoy visiting my eight grandchildren whenever I can.
