The Private Men’s Sanctuary (version 4), is a concrete-reinforced underground bunker designed specifically for married men and fathers of teenage daughters.
As delightful daughters can be in their youth, when they enter adolescence, most men quickly realized they are in trouble. There were certain days every month where men literally take their lives in their own hands by simply walking from the bedroom to the bathroom.
“The first time I encountered a radical mood swing in the hallway I was petrified,” said one DODO in Colorado. “The charming young lady I had kissed before bed eight hours earlier was possessed overnight by an alien life form. I remember saying ‘Good Morning,’ to someone in the hallway. The creature’s head turned 180-degrees, flames shot from its eyes and it spoke an unintelligible language before bursting into tears.
“I jumped back into my bedroom and locked the door, but the creature called reinforcements,” he added. “They ran away, but only after I slid three $20 bills under the door. Then, when I turned around, I saw my wife was possessed by the same life form while she slept. I dropped my wallet as I ran out of the room and that bought me enough time to escape to my car.”
The PMSx4 will comfortably accommodate four men and a dog for seven days. A hidden hatch is activated by a keychain button as men run out of their homes. As they jump into the bunker, the door hydraulically closes making it impossible for advancing hordes to penetrate.
Once inside, men can relax in a common area outfitted with overstuffed easy chairs, a 48-inch plasma television, satellite hookup, home theater system, DVD player and high-speed Internet access. This allows guys to remain connected to the outside world so they can work from the bunker, if necessary, or at least keep up with sports and stocks.
A separate pantry area contains two 25-cubic-foot side-by-side refrigerators, a barbecue grill, wet bar, pizza oven and deep fryer.
The bedroom area features four king beds subdivided into separate soundproof sleeping areas each containing a 48-inch LCD color television.
The two outside air vents are disguised as trash cans because, as everyone knows, nobody except a man would ever come near one.
